Tuesday 7 March 2017

Brer Rabbit and the Tunnel - a modern fable

Department of Transport
Confidential briefing note
A303 upgrade

  1. We promised the South West Lib Dems a fast A303 to keep them happy in the last parliament – most of them lost their seats but the deal can’t be unravelled as new Tories down there need to show we care for the peninsular.
  2. Southampton – Salisbury – M3 and M4 these routes need upgrading for trade.
  3. Stonehenge is the blocking point on the A303.
  4. Divert the A303 nearer to Salisbury to pick up traffic as above cuts the cost of Salisbury road upgrades and it is cheaper than keeping the beardies happy around Stonehenge.
  5. English Heritage and National Trust desperate to keep main road near Stonehenge for revenue reasons – “Tourists won’t leave the major road to visit a bunch of rocks”.
  6. Operation “Brer Rabbit” – put forward a Stonehenge Tunnel Scheme that we claim we desperately want will keep EH and NT onside. But make it outrageous to upset beardies by blocking out Winter Solstice view – subtle enough to get past the headquarter wonks at EH and NT but will be picked up as we consult (we can make sure of that.)
  7. "Very sorry, we tried" to EH & NT. We get cheaper road where we want it, and any complaints as we put new road plans in we can blame the Stonehenge crowd. 
  8. Result: Highways England happy, Road transport lobby happy, Road blockers happy, South West happy, Southampton and Salisbury happy, Treasury happy - just English Heritage will be unhappy but they can't say anything as they have to show they care more for the monuments than the cash.


  1. Easy to see where our politics came from. (If a little surprising that they are allowed to read Joel Chandler Harris since that we are not).

    (USA -> "we", "they" <- Brits)

  2. This is a joke............isn't it? Surely your not suggesting! Oh you are aren't you......... f...ing hell you're right........ oh surely not? All those clever people at EH over all these years, being fooled........surely not?